how unfortunate...

had a reflection. how things turns out to be this way.
if you are reading this, please reflect on yourself. thanks.

i guess things turns out to be this way, mostly initiate by you.

shall start from things initiate by me; i hit your PCG injection when u was in pri 6 severer times, causing u to be in pain. i was playful i guess, i was only pri 3 by the way. how much can a 9 yr old kid know. I'm sorry. I don't know whether u are that petty to the extent that u still bothered/hatred over it.

my personally feeling is that, I don't have a elder sis. seriously.
maybe it's ur personality~ maybe u see things the other way~ I don't know.

u have never protected me in any ways. i always settle things on my own, plan on my own.
u have always been so calculative. from buying little things like tibits when i was young, til now, asking u to pack food for me u're always asking me to return u money.
when we talk, it's all about arguing, over who is using whose stuffs.
incidences when we both wanted to wear the same clothing, u always INSISTED that u need to wear, it's urs.. etc.. till now i'm sick and tired of it.
when we was young, we shared the same hp, i've never got a chance to use it.

there's alot more u guys can imagine, some of u may know her. but u guys just couldn't imagine what she has done, "who" is she at home, cause u guys didn't see the real part of her!

haha if you guys ask shan, she will say the same thing.

she is very calculative towards us. even to my mum! but infront of frens she VERY generous.
and when NEW bf are around for dinner/outing, she will be SUPER generous.
but after treating us the meal, when her bf/fren ain't ard, there she go barking that she spend this lot that lot...etc. just couldn't stand her act!

now whenever shan wants anything she will only goes "erjie!! i wants this ____"
never will she goes "dajie!! i want______" cause she knows she wont get it, but only nags.
She is just so self-centered.
i still remember how u looked down on me.
when it's time to choose a sec sch before PSLE, i told u my teacher actually recommended us to place a good sch as 1st choice, my classmates had choose those real good sch even RV.
u laugh at me. but it's no wrong that u did. cause my impression, the way i'm was way too far from u. i had never study through out my entire primary education even till the last lap. as for u, u mug hard, treat it so important and u only able to get that score.
i can still remember vividly.
me: jie, which should i put as first choice? must put a better one just in case.
u: aiya! put so good for what waste ur choices. any one will do.
m: huhhh....but...
u: aiya just put jurong sec will do. it's too good enough for u le. u wont be able to get in de la.
in the end i got into jurong. and dad wants to transfer me out cause he doesn't like the then jurong sec.

well, in sec, u pull me into band which i had no interest. ended up.. haha.. u guys should know.

if i will to continue to blog, i will not have enough sleep..it's 1am now!
still have to work tomorrow. :(

anyways, i must say thank you to you too!
if it wasn't you, i won't know what is the right way to treat shan. like how i wish i was treated.
if it wasn't you, i won't know how not to be on act.
if it wasn't you, i won't be so strong in handling all the documentation stuff in our family now.
if it wasn't you, i won't prove you wrong that i'm more capable than you.
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alot more :)

i wanna say a BIG THANK YOU to you! thanks alot! :)

oh ya, btw just to let you know, to you i might seems calculative, but to others not.
Cause u are the only one i treated that way. cause this is how u are treating me. FYI.


right now,

fervent expectaion for myself :)